Hello Dearest!

I remember vividly the moment the trajectory of my life changed.

It didn’t involve a car accident or locking eyes with a special someone across the room. In fact, from the outside looking in, it was just a regular, unassuming moment.

I was in a café with a friend on a Sunday afternoon about 15 years ago. I was an ambitious television host who had spent her twenties constantly on the go, living on stress and adrenaline.

My life looked pretty successful (even slightly glamorous), but unfortunately I was too busy obsessing with getting ahead to actually enjoy that life…

Connection, joy, and relaxation were things to be postponed until I “made it” and proved my worth. Reflection and healing got shelved to make room for the constant deadlines, networking, and never-ending “to do” lists. And I was constantly going on auto-pilot in order to get shit done and avoid feeling the pesky fear or sorrow that poked at me anytime I found myself with a little space.

That sunny Sunday, however, I was finally taking time out to meet with a lovely friend in my favorite café for what I hoped would be an afternoon of great conversation and relaxing company. The thing is, as I watched my friend chatting away, this creepy sensation started coming over me… The feeling that I wasn’t actually there.

Sure, my body was sitting on that chair drinking my frothy soy latte, going through the motions, but I felt like I was watching the whole scene from above…completely disconnected from my body and the moment.

I suddenly realized with alarm that I’d hit the auto-pilot switch once too often.

I had run from feeling the moment so many times in the name of success and safety, I’d lost my ability to feel my life…even in the good times.

The capper that day was the horrifying thought: ‘What if I get to the end of my life and realize I wasn’t actually THERE for any of it?!’

Well, that afternoon I vowed to change that trajectory…to stop sleepwalking and start living.

How the hell I was going to do that was beyond me, but eventually I would discover it involved creating space, exploring my pain, practicing mindfulness, cultivating acceptance and love for myself, reconnecting to my body, letting go of the chase to be “good enough”, understanding my true power, and many more goodies too numerous to mention here.

This journey ended up being years in the making — traveling around the world exploring different philosophies and modalities, working with various teachers and healing processes, and doing a deep-dive into myself.

The shifts didn’t happen overnight (in fact, I still work at it every day), but through this journey I woke up to myself, others, and the world, and became firmly rooted in my love and power. Eventually it led me to becoming a guide for others wanting to live bolder, more conscious lives.