The Biggest Jerks Can Be Your Most Important Teachers

The biggest jerks can be your most important teachers - Blog

They’re the thorns in your side that you wish you didn’t have to deal with…

The boss with a short fuse.

The neighbour who blasts Guns N’ Roses first thing every Saturday morning.

The friend who always takes digs at your activism.

The teenage daughter who looks at you with ever-growing levels of disdain.

None of us wish for a-holes in our life, but sometimes they’re just what our growth trajectory ordered.

After all, it’s easy to be all Zen sitting alone on a mountaintop, but maintaining your peace when some asshat cuts you off in traffic? That’s next level.

So, how do you prevent the jerks in your life from draining your lifeblood?

It’s simple… In a situation with a challenging being, ask yourself THIS question:

How can I let the situation with this person grow me?

Depending on the circumstances, dealing with this person could become a lesson in:

  • deepening your understanding and compassion
  • growing a backbone
  • fine-tuning your diplomacy skills and powers of persuasion
  • honouring yourself and setting healthy boundaries
  • cultivating a sense of humour
  • creating the necessary momentum to get yourself the hell out of a bad situation

Putting this question into practice…

So, maybe that boss leads you to setting some healthy boundaries with her around what you’re not willing to put up with when she’s angry.

Maybe the GNR neighbour helps you loosen up a bit and roll out of bed every Saturday first thing to rock out to “Welcome to the Jungle”.

Your passive-aggressive friend? Maybe the next time he makes a dig, you stop and ask him what’s bothering or scaring him about your activism. Find out what the wisecracking is hiding and have a heart-to-heart on how to negotiate this.

With your teenage daughter, maybe you discover that you’re able to dig into a deeper reserve of compassion than you thought possible for her and this confusing time she’s going through.

How will you transform jerk energy in your life?

Ok, let’s practice!! Bring to mind (right now!) a difficult being you have in your life and see if you can apply any of the bullet points above to that situation.

Send me a note and share what you come up with!

Oh… and it’s natural to get right pissed off before you manage to find a “lesson” in the jerk-fuelled situation. Some big deep breaths and writing about it all can help the process along. 😉

Hugs, Kimberly

P.S. Have you been taking part in The Changemaker Sessions? They’re a wonderful “jerk-free” zone.

These FREE Zoom gatherings (every second Wednesday evening 7pm ET) are a place of deep (and fun!) learning, coaching, and community for activists, mission-driven leaders, healers, social entrepreneurs, & all those trying to make the world a better place…

SIGN-UP to get notices of the upcoming sessions.

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Hello Compassionate Go-Getter!

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I’m Kimberly and I’m a coach for changemakers. 

I help leaders, activists, healers, and mission-driven entrepreneurs who want to make a bigger difference in the world do the transformative inner work and build the high performance habits and strategies to make them unstoppable.

I’m also a passionate world citizen & a director with Animal Justice & Toronto Vegetarian Food Bank.

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